The Invisible Labour Of Women & Mums

Have you ever experienced coming home from some time away from the household and children and walking into an even bigger workload of household chores than when you left? Maybe this is even your daily reality, maybe you come back from paid work to find that all your unpaid work is left for you to some

how catch up on?

It's not surprising that when you walk into this, you feel the rage and overwhelm bubbling up inside your body. This is the signal that your body is in fight or flight because it recognises the load is too much for one woman, one body , one nervous system to hold......

We are led to believe that this unpaid labour is a natural part of women's and mother work. That we should be able to carry it all alone in silence....but the truth is our ancestors did not carry it alone , they had the village and they had support that no longer exists for modern day mothers. It is NOT a personal failure or flaw when this all feels to much, if you snap , if you break down sometimes ......Your body was not designed to carry this level of stress alone.

The environment in the home affects us emotionally and from a nervous system perspective. Mothers have heightened senses because we are biologically wired to nurture and protect our children, so we FEEL our environment much more intensely. When we are taking in so much sensory input and data all the time and then our space is utter chaos and we know we don't have the capacity to put it right , our nervous system jumps into high alert survival mode. Our body feels like it's under attack on a primal level.

Often we hold the primary responsibility for maintaining the household even if our partners, parents etc do chip in and support at times. What I mean by this is we carry the mental load and responsibility of making sure things don't get too behind, too chaotic, too dirty. It's a role that is unrecognised and that's taken on in motherhood as part of the package for most of us. But mental load builds up too as well as the physical and emotional load I've already talked about.

We must shine light on this as women, and I endeavour to teach my sons about this WORK so that it doesn't remain invisible and unsupported. In coaching sessions and in the programme 'Held'

(5 days of support for Overwhelmed and Burnt Out Women & Mums') We do just that, I see and hold space for women's invisible work and make it visible to them and to others . This is incredibly healing and powerful , because often we are trapped in shame believing it's a personal flaw as a woman, as a mother, when we realise we can't go on with the load we are carrying.

Here are some embodied tools to help you ground when you are carrying the invisible load of motherhood :

1. Lie on the ground , close you eyes it feels safe - this tells your body you are safe and regulates your nervous system

2. Make pockets of beauty in your environment - When you see something that brings you joy or looks pleasing this signals safety to a body scanning the room for danger

3. Move your body , shake it off, dance it off, walk it off...This releases and creates rhythm which regulates your body

If you feel the weight of the invisible labour, the overwhelm , the burn out, then I am here to support you to feel connected, calm and like you can breathe again....

Join 'Held'